Out of whack

Hot Mess Alert (HMA) Warning: my life is out of whack this week. I was thinking Monday was just a particularly bad Monday because I had such a good weekend, but Monday has passed and now it is Tuesday. Tuesday was bad too. I needed a major attitude adjustment. Nothing seemed to be going my way. I haven’t been sleeping well, which stems from my lack of exercise and eating like absolute crap. Case in point. This is a picture of my bed the way it looked when I woke up this morning. Images in this photo have not been altered or retouched in any way (poor Mr. Piggy looks like he got mauled).

Ok, maybe I am being a bit dramatic. But this is what my bed looks like after I make it.

Mr. Piggy forgot to pose for the camera. Must be all the trauma from last night. Last night was a rough night’s sleep, making me a complete bitch today. I passed out mid-Gossip Girl (which comes on at 8 PM, mind you) and proceeded to wake up at 12 AM, 2 AM, and 5 AM. The 2 AM wake-up was because of a horrible dream; it has been storming a lot here lately, and I had a dream that my mom and brother were at my apartment, and a tornado was coming directly towards us and I couldn’t take shelter fast enough, and got shards of glass in my back when I ducked to take cover (you know, how they taught you to duck during the tornado drills in elementary school??) Anyway, that freaked me out – it was vivid and super scary. Then, I couldn’t get back to sleep after the 5 AM wake-up… I just lay there thinking about work and getting ticked off. When I wake up and can’t fall back asleep, I get angrier and angrier and work myself up so I really can’t fall back asleep. It is a viscous cycle that luckily doesn’t happen often. Apparently this is my week for life to fall apart. Again, being just slightly dramatic, but I do need to get myself together.

I am hoping I have a happy hump day tomorrow. I felt accomplished at work today and got a lot done. I also helped win over one of our angrier/feistier internal customers. Getting her on board means we get the rest of her team on board. I need to focus on my “wins” and not the small stuff that ticks me off. After realizing I needed an attitude adjustment after having a small mental breakdown at my desk while everyone was gone at lunch (and virtual yelling at my mom on office communicator when she was just trying to help – SORRY, MOM!), I went to Target for retail therapy. Also, I love the Target popcorn combo. For $1.69, you get all sorts of popcorn goodness and a soda! Now that is a deal.

I returned to work full of popcorn and sunshine. Just kidding about the sunshine part; I am not nearly medicated enough to be full of sunshine. The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. I forced myself to get a quick jog in, trying to get back in to my exercise routine after 4 days off. The big 5K is this weekend and I really feel out of shape, even though it has been just a few days off. I have not been putting the right ‘fuel’ in to my body over the course of the past few days (booze, popcorn, fried food, chocolate = not good). I need to seriously recommit to eating the right things and tracking (for realsies, not just telling myself to) between now and my birthday in November so I can look (and feel) amazing for all of the festivities.

Anyway, I am pretty sleepy. Let’s hope I have a good night’s sleep tonight because Lord knows I need it. I need to have a better workout tomorrow than I did today. Goal for tomorrow: hydrate, hydrate, hydrate at work. I must flush out the popcorn sodium and not be so thirsty that I have to go on a short walkjog. Also another goal I am working on is eating slower. I watched this girl in a lunch and learn last week take 30 minutes to eat a salad. THIRTY. I was totally amazed. I told my co-worker when we left that I would have demolished the salad in probably less than 10. Again, there is no reason I could not make a salad last 30 minutes.

Maybe getting these things down in writing will force me to commit. Maybe? Again, any inspiration would be helpful! I can’t keep falling off the wagon and getting back on, but at least I keep getting back on, right?

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